Wednesday, October 25, 2006

i am still alive...sort of...

okay so i know that i haven't updated in a while. And i know i always say this, but things have just been a little hectic around here.

I am currently getting ready to move back home with the parents. This should be interesting. I don't think that they really want me to move back home. I think they are just pretending to be happy about it. But it has to be done in order for me to get back on my feet.

In the time i live at home i will be working on getting all my bills caught up. They ahve just gotten out of control. :( Mostly because i work at a job that doesn't pay me diddly crap and i have a $400 a month rent payment, on top of a car payment, on top of all the credit card bills that i got stuck with from the divorce :( So i will be able to get those straightened out when i move back home.

While i move back home i will work on going back to school. I need to finish my degree and there have been a lot of things that have been standing in the way of that. I have been too focused on everyone else to really take the time to get my life in order. Which brings me to the next subject...

Today i broke up with a guy that i had been dating for a while. It was really hard for me to do but i realized that i was investing more into the relationship then i was getting out of it. This relationship started off on the wrong foot anyways and so that didn't help much either. I actually just got done crying to my mom on the phone about this. Sometimes i just feel like i can't make the right decisions when it comes to dating. I find someone that i think i get along with, things go well for a couple of months, and then everything just starts going downhill. I think it is the type of guys i date. I date the ones who haven't really grown up yet. They still like to hang out with their friends and party and i am just not into that. I mean i don't mind it occasionally, but not every weekend. Also i seem to date guys that are just on a different page from me. I want to get married and have children. My ex wanted to get married but didn't want to have children and they guy that i was dating...well i am not sure if he wanted to either of those things. I know he definetly didn't want to have kids and there is no way i could deal with that. So who knows what is wrong with me? I don't understand why i can't find a person who shares the same interests and everything that i do. I mean i know i am not going to find someone who is perfect. But i do at least want someone who i can hold a whole conversation without feeling like i have to put on a front. Grrr...i am taking a break from dating for a while.

So yeah, that is pretty much what is up with me. what about all of you? What have you been up to?